Gotta do this before I pull my hair out . . .

So last night I was reading the TV Guide. Besides my church magazine, it's the only magazine I subscribe to, and only because the subscription was a completely free two year deal. It's a rag, a real gossip sheet. I mean, I read this thing and I'm thinking "Who are these people?" Everyone is from this reality show or that reality show, and the only reality shows I know anything about are the ones they show on "The Soup" . . . and even then, I hear about shows I never heard of. So, basically, I don't know who these people are, and I don't know why they're famous. They are only useful to me when they come up as clues in the TV Guide crossword.

Now mind you, except for the TV Guide, I don't subject myself to these people -- I don't voluntarily choose to inflict them upon myself. But between the TVG and the supermarket tabloids, I can honestly say there are a lot of people out there I am JUST PLAIN SICK OF! I mean, every time I go to the store, it's like being an atheist during Christmas time! You're bombarded with images you just don't care about! Picture after picture of the same people, all of whom I could not care less about! People who have no impact on my life! People who do nothing with their lives except preach to the rest of us little people! These people aren't inspiring, they're just egomaniacs! And you can turn away, but they're all over the place -- you just can't get away from it! So, at the grocery store, I try to concentrate on the food magazines instead -- definitely worth my time, but they do make me hungry. . .

So here is my list:

Barack Obama - 24/7 news coverage for 2 years, plus an entire rack of over 25 magazines at Wegmans of just Obama magazines -- not just Obama on the cover, actual entire magazines about Obama!! How much can you write about one person! Incidentally, his face was plastered on the TVG for next week's issue! I mean, I could understand if it was the issue for the week of the inauguration, but it's for next week. He's the president -- not a celebrity -- not God!

Oprah - another person who thinks she is the savior of the world I am sooooo, soooo sick of Oprah. I can't believe anyone would care about how much she weighs. I can't believe she thinks we care. Unfortunately, there are a lot of bubble heads out there with no purpose for their lives who do care. And she just loves that!

Julianne Hough -- I've been sick of her for a long time. For a while, she was on every page of the freakin' TV Guide. Come to think of it, I'm also sick of her friends Taylor Swift and Kellie Pickler. I am sick of turning on the radio and hearing Taylor Swift on all three country stations! She's the Tim McGraw of 2008 -- you can't get away from her. Thank heaven for iPods.

Beyonce -- It's been years and years of being sick of her.

Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie and the whole Brangelina gang -- self-explanatory.

Teri Hatcher -- "Skeletal" is the word that comes to mind when I see Teri Hatcher. Sorry, she's just not that great looking, and she's a horrible actress (the female version of Tom Cruise). She is so not worth the fuss.

The entire cast of The Hills -- I've never seen an episode, don't even know their names, but I'm still sick of them.

I used to be sick of Nicole Ritchie, but she redeemed herself by having an extremely adorable baby (don't ask me how that happened), so she is temporarily off the list.

Then there are the people I will never get sick of:

George Strait -- The Sexiest Man Alive, in my magazine. What makes him so sexy is that he is faithful to his wife -- and there is nothing sexier than that. There will be pictures of George Strait above my bed in that nursing home my daughter keeps threatening to send me to.

Steve Martin -- It's not possible to get sick of Steve. He's never the same guy twice! The new Pink Panther commercials where he is trying to say "hamburger" reduce me to tears of laughter.

Guy Fieri -- Oh my gosh, I just have to get on that Ultimate Recipe Showdown just so I can meet Guy. And possibly win $10,000, of course.

And I will never get sick of Tuck, my car. I know, technically he's not a person, but we belong together.